Tag Archives: self care

THE most important thing you can do on Valentine’s Day

THE most important thing you can do on Valentine’s Day is…


Honestly.  And I’m not channeling Whitney Houston (I actually don’t like the song “The Greatest Love of All” – BAD theology, but that’s another post).

This day has been blown SO out of proportion, that for many it’s become a nightmare.  My husband and I really don’t celebrate – for us, our anniversary is our special day to demonstrate in special ways our love for one another.

But there are many who are alone, and still others who are lonely (not all who are alone are lonely, and there are many people who NOT alone who are desperately lonely).  I’ve been in both situations.

When I was alone AND lonely, I was also depressed.  I realized that I wouldn’t be good in a relationship or HAVE a good relationship until I did the hard work on MYSELF so that I could be happy regardless of my relationship status.  It wasn’t until I decided that I’d be happy alone for the rest of my life, that I met the man who would become my husband.  It wasn’t until I didn’t want a relationship that I found one.

Love yourself.  It’s easier said than done, I know.  Many times in our lives we have to work very HARD to love ourselves.  But if we don’t value ourselves as individuals – alone, without anyone else’s judgments – then we may find ourselves looking to others for our self-worth, putting too much value in what others think about us, feeling somehow “less-than” if we’re not attached.

stock-illustration-7706805-heart-of-heartsSo if there is no one “out there” for you to share a Valentine with – then give one to yourself!  You deserve it!  Or accept this one from me.  →

You are unique, special, precious and irreplaceable!  And I believe that you are a beautiful child of God, loved beyond all measure by the One who created you.

So Happy Valentine’s Day.  You amazing person.




snow day

The past two weeks have been a little rough.  Two weeks ago my eight year old son was sick with a bad chest cold and was out of school for a Thursday, Friday and Monday (so home for FIVE days), and just as I got him back to school my autistic daughter got it and was home the next Thursday and Friday (so home for FOUR days).  I sent her off to school yesterday, but then we had the blizzard that turned out to be a bust (for us at least) so all the kids were home today.  I’ve also known three people who have died in the past two weeks, one of whom was a real guiding force for me in my adolescence and young adult years.

You would think the snow day would’ve been enough to drive me to drink, but it really was a blessing in disguise.  I feel badly for the folks that got slammed by this storm, but for us all the panic was for naught.  It slipped by leaving us relatively unscathed with just about 8 inches, not the two or three feet predicted!

The kids were happy to be home.  My son was content to play Sims on the computer and I was content to let him.  My autistic daughter was happy exercising to “Just Dance” on the Wii and my teen watched movies on Netflix.  My husband was on YouTube watching old football games, and later on took our son outside to play in the snow.  For the most part I STAYED IN BED.  Really.  I cuddled with my ipad mini, was happy under the covers and took a nap.  I got up to check on things and decided to cook chicken in the crock pot so I could be lazy about dinner.  Then I went back to bed and played Sudoku until I napped again.  Got up and washed some dishes, put in a load of laundry, then went back to bed and kept up on my New England friends on Twitter and Facebook who really DID have a blizzard – and napped again!  I can’t believe how much I slept today!

Before you go thinking it’s the depression, remember what my past two weeks have been like.  We need to remember that sometimes tiredness it just that.  I was TIRED.  And I needed to rest.

For me, depression exhaustion is:

  • feeling like I weigh 500 pounds
  • can’t make my body move
  • I just can’t face the day
  • I’ve slept a lot but I’m still tired

Today was:

  • it feels good to snuggle
  • I’ll do a little around the house then snuggle some more
  • Lord this feels nice!
  • I’ve slept a lot and feel so much better!

There’s a HUGE difference.  I needed to be a sloth today.  This was one GOOD snow day.